that’s how I wanna go
Okay but if you read the article he wasn’t stabbed
he literally walked into the blade thinking it was a toy and not that it was a replica actual sword
HE LITERALLY WALKED INTO MY SWORD OFFICER
"you’ll get ink poisoning"
haha funny thing is, its actually impossible to get ink poisoning this way. the only way to get sick with ink is to eat around 16 pens full of ink to even be slighty harmful
when I was a kid, I actually ate the ink of a pen or two. Worried, my parents called animal control. Turns out that pens are soy based, so you really can’t get sick from eating them. That doesn’t mean you should try though.
Wait, why did your parents call animal control?
this little baby is smiling a lot! he did a great job and found around 250,000 tabs of ecstasy!!
that dog is gonna be off his face
Finish the sentence: Do me
a favor and do me
and fucking do me
and then after that you’re going to fucking do me
If you thought the Bisexual Obstacle Course was tough, you should see Pan’s Labyrinth
All I do is cry and masturbate
Man successfully grabs remote without knocking over cheetos, yet remains displeased.
(original gif [x])
This man lives in a world where everybody is in an infomercial. They all screw up simple daily tasks, but not him. Because of his incapability to be incapable, this man is bullied, ridiculed, and shunned by everyone around him. Yearning to fit in, he desperately tries to be clumsy but fails to cause a huge mess.
Until one day when he was confronted by a mugger. The mugger tried to stab him but continuously missed until they stabbed themself. He found his true calling and became a hero, stopping criminals everywhere by using their own clumsiness against them.
if you dont have a gay cousin then youre the gay cousin sorry to break it to you
but if none of your cousins have a gay cousin, then all of you are the gay cousin. Then you all have a gay cousin, so you aren’t necessarily a gay cousin. Then once again, you all don’t have a gay cousin.
You are all Schrodinger’s gay cousin, in a super positioned state of both being the gay cousin and not.
if you have nothing good to say say it
i hate stuart little and i don;t think he deserved 3 movies
looks like bhutan is on my shit list now. i have my eyes on you
whats that country next to canada thats red?
no next to, not under.
it’s Alaska, its a state in america
no i know what america is but whats that country next to canada though its on the side
i like to push my body to the limit but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can i eat before im unable to physically move way
When my parents aren’t home I like to wrap myself in a garbage bag full of Vaseline and pretend to be a fetus
i see a lot of replies to this post every day but i’d like to acknowledge this one
in my family i’m the ‘computer whiz’ cause i understand that when u open a new window the previous one isn’t gone
so today my friend and i were getting on the bus to go back home, and i always keep my bus pass in my wallet where an id is supposed to go so i can just whip it out and show it to the bus driver and its all chill and i look fuckin smooth bc i took like 4 seconds to get on the bus
so i did the usual flash move and the bus driver gave a really confused look at my bus pass. so i turned my wallet back around to me aND I HAD ACCIDENTALLY SHOWED HIM OJAMA YELLOW
I HAVE TWO SIDES WITH AN ID SLOT